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Tracy Winchell

Preparing for Uncomfortable Interactions: A 6-Step Guide

published14 days ago
2 min read

πŸ‘‹πŸ» Reader,

Hope you January is going well and that you're chipping away, day by day, on your big objectives for year-end 2023.

If it's not, keep digging. Whatever's happening -- or not -- isn't a character flaw.

  1. Life happens
  2. You aren't clear on where to start.
  3. You overestimated your available time.
  4. Your monkey mind keeps taunting you.

I'm having decent success operating inside Six-Week Sprints. It's still pretty clunky -- slightly more reliable than the old truck from Beverly Hillbillies!

​Here are the weekly review questions I'm using to assess my progress.

I'd love to know what you think.

Let's get to the heart of this week's edition of Manage Your Inner Critic.

Today I want to share some wisdom from Twitter humans.

How do you deal with "That Person?"

During the holidays, I asked a few questions. This is my favorite -- because of the responses people shared.

​Read the responses.

I've been thinking a lot about the situations in which we must deal with "That Person."

Sure, we don't engage people from our past who continue to hurt us emotionally or physically.

Sometimes, though, confrontations are necessary, whether it's job- or parental-related, dealing with an ex, and setting boundaries -- to name a few.

When we know a confrontation is coming, the easy thing is to sweep it under the rug.

Avoiding situations prolongs the tension, and it’s best to dive in.

The Era of Angry Tracy

Angry outbursts create havoc in relationships, workplaces, and on your well-being.

I know because 10 years ago, I was one big angry outburst.

Anger will never be "fixed" in my life. I keep working on it.

Today, I still yell on occasion yell instead of conversing, and I never remember when I crossed over from rational conversation to rage.

Stubbornly refusing to apologize is the worst possible outcome. Still, apologies suck.

Over the past decade, I’ve learned that – when I see the potential for negative emotion on my schedule – I employ simple mind-sculpting prompts to help manage my emotions.

The questions vary, but the framework stays the same.

I walk myself through my emotions, toward and to reason. Reason, you see, is where I meet the expectation of how I will behave – no matter what.

A 6-step framework to help you prepare.

  1. Acknowledge Emotion: How do you feel about the potentially explosive event on your calendar?
  2. Understand Why: Why do you feel the way you do?
  3. What Outcome Do You Need?: What do you need from the event?
  4. Expect Nothing from the Other Person: What is the worst-case situation of how the other person might behave?
  5. Determine Your Behavior: No matter what transpires, determine to keep your cool.
  6. Prepare Your Body: Slow your heart rate with a few deep breaths immediately before, during, and after the exchange.

When You Lose Your Cool

1️⃣ Remember: You are human.

2️⃣ Apologize: for your part in the confrontation. Not for them, but for you.

3️⃣ Assess: What have you learned about the next time you deal with "That Person?"


That's it for this week!

-t

P. S. Don't forget to share your thoughts and questions.